dear 2009.

your longevity is a wonder
your trials a curse
under no circumstances did you waiver
a testament of true strength
you shattered what i loved most
you took from my well
left me bare, dry, empty
a sense of animosity
glassed over my heart, my mind

and then one day
as would a bubble of air
i rose to the surface
one foot in front of the other
with a divine shield
i fought through the torrent
finding my way
getting there ever so slowly
it was then, when the well was dry
i saw your true value
your undying will
to teach me what i needed
to do it on my own.

-nth

2009 was a year that gave as much as it took. This can be said both personally and on a larger scale. we've had an opportunity to take so much and learn from it all, making 2010 a year of wonders.

deeper than...

this physical attraction,
our quaint interactions
are more than my heart can bare.
our winding conversation,
the lack of preservation
is deeper than whats really there.

though its not plain to see,
it doesnt have to be.
it simply basque's in its own creation.
we'll just enjoy the moment,
all the memories to foment
'for its deeper than our own interpretation.


side note: just somethin i wrote up while sitting at work bored. this note is more for me than the reader btw!

up, up, and away!.

This thanksgiving got me to thinking how good and bad we can have it and how thankful we should be no matter what. It's funny how life can change it the blink of an eye. From triumphant to turbulent; and vise versa. I've been taking it all in stride and learning that you must take every dose of it with a grain of salt. It's so easy to become stagnant in life. It seems as though we forget that the process of progress involves constant movement and steady change, inevitable growth and infinite learning. I was taught to never be satisfied with where you are and where you're going. Always reevaluate and reinvent yourself. In reference to nature, don't become a boulder, stuck where you are; stubborn, immobile, complacent. Like a tree we must grow and change, be ever evolving and with time become bigger and stronger than you once were before. We will all go through those ugly times, when our branches are bare, our trunk a little battered. But we will always return, beautifully and in full bloom, more full than ever before. Mature, grow, experience and live. What do you have to lose?

shattered glass.

I had an imperial thought today... what if glass was made to be broken? think about it. parallel it to your life. what a thought that all our troubles and all our transparent issues are meant to crumble. put it this way. remember when you would break one of your mother's good wine glasses? you got in trouble and then stored what happened in your memory, vowing never to do that again, right? well in life, a regret is only a mistake that you didnt learn from. its that wine glass, vase, chinet plate, lamp shade or whatever that you shattered and didn't store in the old memory bank. what i'm saying is, life is going to happen. glass is going to break and milk is going to spill. what will u do? learn from the situation and ensure that the next time the situation arises u will be best prepared for it. dont fret and don't regret. just live, learn, and apply. the worst thing you can do in life is to regret a decision you made. shine on and live hard!

brother bear.

its inconceivable that such a small person can have such an impact on ones life. it is now unimaginable that this little being can be anywhere but in my life. for 8 years, i watched this person grow and change in ways that boggle my mind. i had the upmost pleasure of cradling this fragile bud in my arms. now to see him run, prosper in his freedom, enjoy the simplicities of life, all i can ask is that he is with me forever and a day. i get scared when he's hurt, it pains me to see him sick, and the thought of him losing his energetic spirit and personality would kill my soul. at 22 years old, the relationship i have with my 8 year old brother is pure magic. he gives me joy that any child would their parent. his voice, his laugh, his smile warms my heart. his persistence and drive is admirable at worst. his hugs are heaven at best. i have taken career moves that have separated us when we need eachother most. i cant regret my decisions because everything i do is for him. i just wait for the day when i see his sweet face, his curly hair, his big brown eyes, and feel like nothing else matters. i'll be home soon enough brother bear, soon enough.

the one upper.

We've all met this person. The 'one upper' is your friend, or foe, who's story is just a little more extreme than yours to make themselves look better. If you dropped your phone in the toilet, they flushed theirs. If you went to the mall and spent $100, they spent $200. I don't know what I think about people like that. I don't understand the process their brain goes through to make them believe that anyone cares. For the normal person, its just conversation. Asking "How was your day?" or "What did you do today?" is not the shot that starts the race of 'who did it better'. For some odd reason though, there are people on this earth who devote their every word to impressing themselves with how much better their story can be than yours. Half the time its pure bull. The narcisism is enough to make me want to stand beside myself and slap the hell out of the 'one upper'. Honestly, I have felt myself become that person on a few occassions and I try hard to check that personality trait. When I feel I am 'one upping' I simultaneously revert back to grade school after the Christmas holidays when we compared gift lists. It's such a petty and childish concept to want to try and out-do everyone in something so simple as a conversation. At any rate, all 'one uppers' should be locked in a room and hold a championship 'one upping' contest. The winner should be pushed off the edge of the earth. -nth

orange creamsicles.

the weather outside inspired me to blog, while at work, about childhood; its ups, its downs, and all the ice cream in between. the warm, sunny air brings back memories of capri sun summers, the first swim of the year, fresh cut grass and cut off shorts. the bright sun seemed to intesify the brightest of colors and make the world a coloring book. cant speak for everyone, but i can admit and regret that i've lost sight of that. i no longer appreciate the simple things as a sunny day. becoming an adult is a real give-and-take transition. but i can say that i sit back on days like this, remember what a childhood i had and think, 'i want to go to there'.